Marriage, an Experience of Oneness
Q: Do you believe marriage is necessary?
A: In most cases, marriage is necessary, but a marriage achieving conjugality.
Q: What you mean by conjugality? What you mean by marriage, indeed?
A: Matrimony is a space where union and oneness should be realized. It is the experience of one in two. It is understanding oneness in plurality. It is to see oneself in the other and the other in oneself – without seeing oneself in oneself. It is the symbol of the union between the female and male parts of man and to establish a relation and connection between tow poles of one’s being. The outer matrimony should be the representation of the inner marriage.
Q: What is inner marriage?
A: You have to marry your soul, to deliver your being from duality and achieve oneness. As long as you have not achieved union and oneness within yourself you shall not be able to experience it outside yourself…
Q: You mean we have first to marry inside ourselves and become one with our soul and then have a conventional marriage?
A: Of course such a marriage would be an excellent one. But the point is that one’s conventional marriage develops in harmony with one’s inner union and alliance. If you desire to improve and modify your outside alliance and relation, you have to modify your alliance and relation with your real self.
Q: What if that would not the case?
A: It will end in a troubled, disharmonious and tormenting marriage.
Q: Who should marry who within me?
A: The Spirit of God with “I”. The Divine Spirit with you. “I” is living inside you. Feeling, thought, memories, desires and [so many other things] are all parts of your being; they should be brought out of diffusion and go in one direction and become coherent. Next, your soul has to melt in and be fascinated by the Divine Spirit. Then, you shall be one within yourself and shall find your divinity again. When you would be one inside yourself, you could, then, be able to become one with another person. In fact, marriage is this very experience of becoming one.
Q: What is the necessity of experiencing “oneness”?
A: As long as you have not experienced oneness on Earth, it is unlikely to experience it in Heaven. He is One, and as long as you have not become one and comprehend [your inner] oneness, it is quite improbable you could comprehend His oneness.
Q: If I understand it rightly, we would not have a successful outer marriage unless we could realize that inner marriage. Is it right?
A: To practice mountain climbing is not necessarily to reach the mountain top. Any spot on a mountain you reach, you have climbed it up. However, if you wish to attain the great victory and to have the highest experience of mountain climbing you have to reach its peak.
It is possible to have a rather successful outer marriage without having achieved one’s inner marriage first; yet it will not be a complete and full success and marriage. Such a marriage may be a conquest but not a victory. It is as though one has reached a spot on a mountainside but he is still far from its peak.
Q: What should we do then?
A: Whether you are married or not, do not forget about a spiritual and inner marriage and try to bring it about someday. Make your spirit so beautiful and charming to attract the attention of the Spirit of God. Try to prepare yourself and to earn the dignity to become His fiancée; and be ready, all your lifetime, for the wedding moment with the flow of truth and keep always looking forward to it.
Surrender your soul and your being to the Lord and offer them to God’s Spirit. Let your soul be fascinated with the Divine Spirit and the flow of truth and melt and vanish into them. Then [you shall witness] a heavenly birth which will be the fruit of your marriage. That is how it will be possible to enter the Divine Kingdom.
Q: What you mean by a heavenly birth?
A: When your [sacred] union with the flow of truth - the Divine Spirit – is achieved and you become one with it, a third being will be born into your being which will be the result of that divine marriage.
Q: Does this refer to the word of Jesus who said, “You shall not enter the Divine Kingdom unless you are born anew?”
A: It is better to ask the Christ himself what he meant by this; for he is alive and is teaching…
“The Soul Mate”
Q: Master, could you tell us about characteristics we should take into consideration when choosing our future spouse?
A: What would you do to choose a match or a pair for a cogwheel? It is reasonable and natural to choose a cogwheel which rims and teeth mesh completely with the first one – in a way that one’s rim notches into the other’s teeth. Otherwise your cogwheel will stop working and if you put to much pressure on it, its teeth will be broken.
Though a human being is far from being a cogwheel yet his soul is always revolving… You have to find a compatible and harmonious soul mate for your spirit and soul. Otherwise their respective course of destiny and the flowing of their soul will be hindered. Their life will become a misery and may even cease within them; and if you push to far, it may even break for good.
Therefore, try first to marry someone with whom you may have deep contact and relate profoundly – someone in whom your soul may rest and his/her soul may find peace in yours as well.
Marry someone with the same spiritual resonance as yours. Marry a soul who belongs to the same spiritual category you belong to; for the life of a pigeon with a falcon would be a permanent repetition of offensive and defensive moves. This kind of life ends in continuous attempts of chasing and escaping. A wolf couples with a she-wolf, a sheep with a female sheep and lion with a lioness, even though they are all four-footed animals. This is also true for tow-footed human beings.
Q: Does everyone have a soul mate with who one can achieve a completely successful marriage?
A: Every individual and even every living being should marry his/her own identical type of spirit and soul. We believe such a marriage is necessary. However, souls belonging to the same family and the same kind are subject to some classifications and orders as well. For each soul there is only one best and ideal spouse among his/her own spiritual category. The rest are like substitutes. In other words, there is only one true match for every individual to get married to. There is one main match but there are also pseudo-matches; that main match is the soul mate and the pseudo-matches are pseudo-soul mates. The ideal would be to marry one’s soul mate but if this would not be possible, it is necessary and indispensable to marry a pseudo-soul mate. In the latter case, chances of success are even as well as raising and guiding influences are also relative. However, if one could marry one’s true soul mate, everything would be propitious to bring about a complete success (in that marriage), unless one would oppose to it.
Q: Should we look for our true soul mate and try to find him/her?
A: Destiny obeys to the Lord’s commands and it is, of course, in your hands. [To find one’s true soul mate] depends on God’s will and happens because of your readiness and merit. An unsuccessful marriage is a divine punishment and a test; while a successful and up raising marriage is one of the most precious gifts of the Good Lord.
The least you could do is to get married with someone you has the same spiritual and psychological affinity with you and do not waste much time on finding your true soul mate. To marry someone of the same spiritual affinity and the same psychological family would be a successful marriage as well.
Q: What is the difference between getting married with one’s true soul mate or with a pseudo-soul peer?
A: You see a male and a female falcon live together, so do a male and a female eagle. It is possible that a mountain hawk lives with a hawk living next to marshlands or with a goshawk or a sparrow hawk but its life with another mountain hawk would be easier and smoother for they would have a greater possibility to establish a deeper contact.
A golden eagle may well live with a sea or a fish or a harpy eagle yet its life with another golden eagle would be the ideal situation ever.
However, it would not be reasonable or harmonious for an eagle to live with a rabbit or a deer or with other animals. We approve of a harmonious and up raising marriage.
Q: Master, do really people’s souls belong to various affinities or this is simply a metaphor and a comparison?
A: People are born in one of the twelve months of year, in one of the episodical annual rings, under the dominant influence of a determined cosmic vibration, with a determined blood group and specific physical characteristics…
Even though human soul is of the same essence and nature but when it comes to reality, there are different groups among human souls. Each of these groups has also its own lineages and ranks and is divided to secondary branches. You know that each month includes various and numerous days, hours and moments. It is the same with each year as well…Therefore, despite inherent sameness of human soul, the nature of individual vibrations and psyches bear essential and conspicuous differences…
There are definitely and obviously different human and non-human souls as well as various vibratory and psychological flows.
Harmonious and Disharmonious
Q: What is the difference between living with someone with whom we have spiritual affinity and someone with whom we have no spiritual affinity at all?
Q: What is the difference between living with someone who has the same spiritual resonance as we have and with someone whom we have not spiritual affinity at all?
Q: What difference does it make to live with someone of the same spiritual affinity or someone with whom we have no spiritual affinity at all?
A: When spiritual affinity, psychological sameness and harmonious vibrations exist between tow persons, their common life will flow a flourishing, up raising and growing trend and it will move towards union and truth. This is the very great, sacred and respectful aspect of marriage. This kind of marriage is like a whirlwind that brings about a beautiful and elevating storm lifting everything into its spinning motion towards the sky and hitting hard one’s ego just like a huge whirlwind would hit a small village.
On the other hand, if the marriage would not be a harmonious one…
In the first case, you would be living with a person whose movement, tendencies, desires, morality, personality, vision, self-awareness and, in one word, his/her destiny are in harmony with you and your life.
In the second case, harmony is absent but contradiction, animosity, irritation, or indifference and carelessness are frequent and “everyone is busy with his own life and interests.”
The Main Indication Is Moving Fluently in Divine Presence
Q: How can we know that someone has the same spiritual affinity as ours?
A: There are many indications to that. Souls of the same affinity and vibrations attract each other. There is a kind of spontaneous sympathy between them. [By spontaneous sympathy] I do not mean carnal desires or caprices but a mutual attraction between two souls.
Not only do they understand each other very well but they understand each other’s character, likings and disliking, and viewpoints as well. They feel more comfortable and smoother in each other’s presence and feel closer to themselves, indeed.
They want each other, even if they do not apparently care for each other.
When together, they are more themselves without playing any role or pretending to be someone they are not.
Despite any apparent liking – which is quite unlikely – they are drawn to each other. In such relation, one’s heart and mind become harmoniously and evenly active and dynamic, as though one’s thoughts and feelings start moving on in the Divine Presence…
However, be extremely careful, for sometimes illegitimate relationships between opposite sexes may also nourish sympathy, mutual understanding, accepting each other’s presence and blending of awareness. But you have to observe deeply and fairly, without any feeling or emotion, whether the reality is the same as you believe?
Is my Mate my Match?
Q: What will happen to those who have been already married?
A: Why do think there is no spiritual affinity between you and your spouses?
There are so many women and men with the same spiritual affinity and psychological sameness yet they do not know it. You may have married your soul mate without knowing it. In most such marriages both parties were unaware of signs of spiritual affinities…
Q: How we should know that our spouse is well our soul mate or our pseudo- soul mate?
A: Do you regret, in your heart and not rationally, your marriage? What would change in you and in your life if your mate would be absent for a while? Would this hinder the course of your daily life? How would this affect your feelings and thoughts? Hardship and trouble you would feel in his/her absence – if ever you would feel –
During his/her absence, would you really feel in pain and confused because “you have lost an essential and important thing” and [you would think] there is nothing important left in your life anymore? Does his/her presence brings you peace of mind or it makes you feel anxious and stressed? Do you love him/her? Is his/her being alive important to you and why?
Disharmony shall become Harmony
Q: If ever my spouse were not, spiritually and psychologically speaking, the right mate, what should I do then?
A: The Lord is just and He treats justly. He has solved all man’s problems beforehand and provided for all his needs. Even if there were no affinity between you and your spouse, know that love will change everything. Understanding and comprehension can transform anything to anything else…Besides, try to succeed in divine tests.